Intro.

Okay, so my name is Narcissa (not really, I just wish.)

I have a few other sites.

My penname on fanfiction.net is Narcissa37226Malfoy, and I strongly suggest that you go and read my stuff and review! Woohoo! Sorry, couldn't resist a bit of blatant self-endorsement there. Never pass up a chance to brag about your work!

And I don't know why I'm posting this when all I have to do is write a profile, but I just felt like posting this, so here you go.

And here are a few funny quotes for you to work on and see if you like:

Death is Life's Way of Telling You You've Been Fired.

If at first you don't succeed, failure might be your thing.

A life? Cool? Where can I download one of those?

He was one of those people who look so much better in a coffin.

Oh, is that your date? I thought you were walking your dog.

Friends are those who bail you outa jail. BEST friends are those who sit next to you saying, "That was fun!"

They shoulda thrown you away and kept the stork.

His conversation was punctuated by occasional silences that made it absolutely delightful.

God, not content with giving men stupidity, went so far as to give them the ability to talk.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy is, "No pain, no pain."

Women get their enjoyment in life from spotting people fatter than they are.

An university professor set a question: What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? He then was forced to give an A+ to the student who wrote, I don't know and I don't care.

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everybody equally.

A university professor once said that a double negative may make a positive, but a double positive never makes a negative. Whereupon a student in the back said, "Yeah right."

A man on his deathbed, when urged to renounce Satan, said, "Now, my friend, this is no time to be making enemies."

Is that your face or did your neck just throw up?

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

Not everybody can be heroes. Some of us have to be those who sit on the sidewalk clapping as they go by.

There ya go! Hope you enjoyed them!